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So lets face it, some people are just plain difficult. They may have a reputation for it. They likely have already been challenged on it. They’re probably not going to change any time soon. 

Of course if they’re behaving in a truly toxic way then I’m not suggesting you should put up with it. Better to call it out and walk away. 

If not, then here are a few tips from an acting coach and therapist  to help you deal with these types of people.

Acting feels like what you’re meant to be doing on this planet. It sets your soul ablaze and puts you in your happy place. When you act you feel like you’re in ‘flow’ state. You adore interpreting and creating characters and telling a story.

Well, most of the time.

At other times you feel down-hearted and dejected. You know you have more potential within you then you’re able to express. You feel stuck and helpless when you get the same old critique from teachers. The same old rejections from self-tape submissions.

That’s when therapy which is targeted and tailor-made for artists can help. By therapy I don’t mean CBT which mostly just tackles unhelpful thinking. Acting is holistic and we need a holistic therapy that works with body, emotions and mind.

There is always a relationship between two polarised views.  Fritz Perls, one of the founders of Gestalt Therapy learned about the ‘zero point’ from Friedlander in the 1920s. This is the idea that opposites are in relationship to each other. The zero point is the middle way between two polarised positions. 
Through skilful facilitation of dialogue, we can reach a point of commonality and understanding within our differences. In facilitating dialogue I promote a ‘both/and’ rather than ‘either/or’ perspective.

Working with a therapist-coach you get the best of both worlds. You get to work on present goals and develop specific plans to move your life forwards. But,  when you get get stuck on the actioning part, which is often the case, you get to do a therapeutic deep-dive into the past.
And you feel safe to do that because you know I’m a trained therapist who has many years of experience working with very traumatised clients.

When adult Nick finds a job he can do well, the little part ties itself to the job. It feels better because it’s performing well. This is how Nick and other high achievers link their entire sense of identity and worth to doing extremely well professionally or in whatever area of life they are achieving highly. 

The problem arises when ….

I contact the feelings of  grief, loneliness and  resentment that were out of my awareness. I need to access these in order to process them. Having access to them also lets me have more depth and range when acting. By plucking up the courage to take this detour and spend time with your pain, you too give yourself the opportunity to not only heal but to make your acting more ‘real’ and ‘true’.

I recently decided to certify as a Design Your Life coach. Why did I do this? I’d been itchy to make changes to my life for a good five years. I stumbled across the book, “Designing Your Life’ by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. I felt more and more excited as I turned the pages. The ‘design thinking’  felt original and new to me. The book was written in a down-to-earth, real way with both writers sharing vulnerable experiences and case studies and I felt energised and inspired.

I’ve become a “Coach for Actors” in addition to being a Gestalt Therapist. Why did I do this? Well, it all started in September ’22 after a failed round of IVF in Athens and a relationship break-up. 

First pubished in Elephant Journal in September 2017 A woman perched on a grey sofa screams at her therapist. The room has a large window that looks out on blue sky and sunshine. “I’ve been coming here all these years and I’m still not ok. You’re the expert with all the training! Why haven’t you […]

First published in Elephant Journal , August 2017 Recently a few of my clients have been contemplating whether it’s time to end therapy. Recently other of my clients have been contemplating whether to end their romantic relationships. Should I stay or should I go and how do I know? Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy […]